the constant battle...

of dark and light... of good and evil... of sad and happy...  of assurance and doubt... of life and death...  you, as a person, are a battlefield every minute of every day...  the stronger survive the battles, grow from them and become wiser and more open to light...  the weaker fall to the dark, live the self-deprecating pseudo-reality, and disconnect from live and loving interaction with the world as it really matters.

the "darkness" is strong in me...  it took years to cultivate the magnitude of the hold it has on my perception of things.  years of not measuring up and not being good enough to one person in my life who matters most... years of trying too hard to build the reality that was not mine...  years of trying to please and fix everybody who crossed my pass just to be "accepted" and fit in within the mold predetermined by society... this hold was to never be broken, or so it seemed...

a stranger gave me a map...  a map that holds a way out of the dark maze of doubt, constant angst, sadness, and self-deprecation...  a map that leads to the light that allows you to feel the souls of the world and touch the energy that is pure, strong and beautiful...  the energy that defines life.  the knowledge of having this map makes the dark fade a bit... it makes you able to stand up to the accusing and diminishing voices in you head...  it reminds you that you are worthy of knowing the light and promotes your ability to cultivate the warmth and care...

the darkness will always be there, we can't get rid of something that is part of our being. it just can't be running the show anymore, and has to stay behind the barbed-wired fence, where it belongs...

fight on!  xo, tk